Almond Flour Waffles

Perfect for soaking up egg yolks or hanging out under some fried chicken with pork rind breading.

1 cup almond flour 

3 eggs -seperated if you want fluffier waffles, not if you are just hungry and in a rush.

1tsp baking soda

1 tsp salt

1/2 cup heavy cream

1/2 cup water

2 tbl oil or melted butter or bacon fat

If you want really fluffy waffles, beat your egg whites to still peaks. If not, they still taste good. Mix your wet ingredients and whisk in your dry. Carefully fold in egg whites at the end. Super sinple.

Makes 4 servings of 2 waffles each (they freeze well if leftover also). About 350 caloties/serving with 5 net carbs (8, 3 fiber).

Savory Keto Pumpkin Muffins

Yes, I know it is not "pumpkin season" but I opened a can of pumpkin the other day and now I need to use it up. As per my usual contrary nature, these are NOT sweet, and there is NO coconut.

2 tbl chia seeds
5 eggs, seperated
1 cup pumpkin puree
5 oz cream cheese
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
Pumpkin pie spice or your own approximation to taste
1/2 cup macadamia nuts, chopped
1/2 cup almond (not goddamn coconut) flour

Set oven to 350. Grease or line standard muffin tin.

Whisk egg whites to stiff peaks and set aside.

Put everything else except nuts and almond flour into the food processer and pulse until smooth. (Or get cream cheese to roomtemp and beat it by hand if you are a masochist.)

Fold wet ingredients, flour, and nuts into egg whites carefully. Spoon mixture into muffin tin.

Bake for about 30 mins, till set. Makes 12 muffins. 135 cals each, 5g protien, 4g carbs (1.7 net), 10g fat.

Mini-Quiche Meal-Prep

Let's call a spade a spade, these are not muffins. Calling these ready egg breakfasts muffins is a slight to both things. They are closer to crustless quiche, I'm going with that.  Adapt this for whatever bits of veggies you have lying around. Nutrition info is for what I used, ofc.

6 eggs
1 serving bacon, cooked and crumbled
2 tbl sour cream
3 tbl cream
1/4 cup crumbled feta
1/4 cup shreaded cheddar
1 cup broccoli, chopped
1 cup arugula, chopped
Either something to grease your pan, or cupcake liners.

Dead simple. Oven to 350. Mix all the things. Salt/pepper to taste. Grease or line muffin tins. Portion mixture in, remembering they will puff up a bit. (Ie don't make a spillover oven mess like I did.) If using mini muffin tins bake 20 mins, 30ish for normal ones.

You could reheat them in the oven or micro, they are also good cold on a rushed morning.

The whole batch has 875 cals, 57g protein, 14g carbs (10 net) and 64g fat, divide it up by the number of muffins you made.

Keto Pumpkin Pancakes

Too many punpkin pancake recipes are sweet, I didn't want sweet, I wanted savory pumpkin. Also I do not want to make extra to feed an army/freeze...I want a decadant single serving for a nice Sunday breakfast for one hungry person who is trying to low carb.

1/4 cup pumpkin puree

1 oz cream cheese

2 tbl almond flour (or coconut, idk why ppl are over the moon about coconut flour, I am not)

1 egg

Pumpkin pie spice OR your own nutmeg/cinnamon/ginger and clove if you like it (I don't) blend to taste.

Pinch each of salt and baking soda.

Blend everything in a blender (because ain't nobody got time for getting cream cheese room temp and trying to whisk it in the morning). Heat up a pan with a bit of butter. (Or coconut oil if you are a coconut heathen. If you want, use coconut flour AND oil and add some vanilla and nocal sweetner and make this into those sweet things I didn't want, it's your breakfast.) Pour yourself a few pancakes and flip when bubbly.

Serve with 2 eggs and a few strips of bacon, because it's Sunday damnit, you deserve a nice breakfast. Add sugar free syrup if you like, or just dress pancakes with butter and runny egg yolks.

(Including sugested sides, this contains 7 net carbs (10-3 fiber) is about 565 calories and has 20% protein, 7%carb, 73%fat.)