New Years Day Double Chocolate Protein Muffins

When the cold light of new years morning leaves you hating the scale and determined to get back on track but you can't shake the memory of your awesome cookies from last night..... Here is the diet friendly version for breakfasts/snacks all week.  You're welcome.

2 ripe/overripe bananas

1 cup natural peanutbutter (can do almond butter or sun butter etc if you are allergic or dislike the taste of pb)

2 eggs

pinch each baking soda and salt

1 cup oats

3 scoops chocolate protein powder

splash vanilla

1/3rd to 1/2 bag semi/dark chocolate chips

Set oven to 350.  Smash bananas, mix in pb and eggs.  Add soda, salt, and vanilla at this point.  Stir in oats and protein powder, then chocolate chips.  Portion into muffin tin and bake for 12-15 mins.  I ended up with 16 muffins at abt 190 cals, 16g carb, 10g fat, 8.5g protein each.  No white sugar, no white four, plenty of chocolate taste, and a good way to use up some protein powder you thought maybe you could stand to just drink (you thought very wrong). 

Peanutbutter Chocolate Protein Comfort Compromise Cookies

So ya..... crazy time of year.  Craving all things I should not eat bc, ofc, stress = junk food cravings. But. I know better, poor nutrition = poor dealing with stress.

Compromise cookies, go. This recipe makes 36 cookie things that come in at abt 175 cals each with 7-8 g protein, 13 net g carbs (11 of which are sugar), and 10g of fat.

15 servings natural (no ingredients besides peanuts and maybe salt) pb (36 tablespoons, or 1 16oz container)
1 bag dark chocolate chips (mine was 19 servings in the bag at 80 cals each, 60% coco)
4 cups instant nonfat milk powder (can use unflavored whey protein for higher protein content, even)
1 cup honey (maple syrup or molasses would work as well)
3 large eggs
1 cup whole milk
1 tsp baking powder
1-2 tsp salt
cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, vanilla to taste

Mix everything - pb honey eggs and milk first, then dried milk powder and flavorings, then chocolate chips.  Bake at 350 for 10-12 mins - I baked it in mini muffin tins to keep cookies from sprawling too much.

Peach-able Assembly Pie

This is not so much a recipe as assembly instructions, but it comes out beautifully.
1 ready made uncooked pie crust
1 7oz package almond paste 3 ripe peaches
1 cup dried cherries
1/4th cup southern comfort
1 tbl cinnamon
1/2 cup brown sugar

1/4th cup light cream or half and half or whole milk
6 oz greek yogurt
splash vanilla
 few tbl sugar

 Put the cherries in a ziplock with the southern comfort and go work on the rest of dinner. Leave them to reconstitute for at least half an hour and up to a day before beginning the rest of the assembly of your pie. (If you don't want to booze up your pie use some apple juice or something similar to reconstitute the a bit, or use fresh or frozen cherries if you like.)

Preheat oven to 350. Put pie crust carefully into a pie pan. Roll/smush your almond paste out into a circle big enough to cover the bottom of your crust, and put it directly onto pie crust. Slice your peaches up and drop the slices into the pie. Drain cherries and scatter them over peaches. Sprinkle the whole thing with cinnamon and brown sugar and put it into the oven for about 40 mins.

Look in the fridge for heavy cream to make whip cream, and realize you don't have any. Mix yogurt and whatever milk you do have until it is thick but spoonable, and flavor it with vanilla and sugar. Serve pie warm with cream to spoon over it.

Pumpkin Peacan Cake with Salted Caramel Glaze

This recipe does involve some planning/doing ahead, so it can't just be scrambled together at the last possible moment (unless, of course, you have made and not opened a can of condensed milk caramel and left it sitting in the cupboard in case you felt like baking).  But pumpkin baked goods are worth planning ahead for, really.

For the cake:
2 sticks butter
1/2 to 1 cup chopped pecans
1 1/2 cup canned pumpkin (not pumpkin pie filling!) 
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 part each ground ginger, cinnamon, and nutmeg
1/2 part cyan pepper
1-2 tsp vanilla extract
dash of salt
3 eggs
2 cups flour
1 tbl baking powder

Turn your oven on to 350 and get out a 9 x 14 cake pan (this makes a thin cake, you could use a smaller dish and get a taller cake if you like, baking time may vary).  Toast your pecans in a small sautee pan for a few mins, you will be able to smell when they are done. Add your butter and let it melt, and continue cooking butter and nuts until your butter starts to brown (this will give the cake a richer flavor).  Put your pumpkin puree in and cook for another 3 mins or so.  Add both sugars to the butter/nut mixture and stir, turning off the heat once they have melted in.  Put in vanilla and add spices a bit at a time, tasting as you go.  You want this mixture to be a bit over-spiced at this point because adding the flour will tone it down.

Let cool for a few mins then add in your eggs, one at a time, stirring as you go.  Once eggs are incorporated into sugar/butter/pumpkin mixture, get out a mixing bowl for your dry ingredients.  Whisk together your flour, baking powder, and salt.  Then pour in your wet ingredient mixture, stirring as you do.  Get everything incorporated but do not over mix.  Pour into the pan.

Bake for 25 mins or so for the larger/thinner cake, probably more if you are doing a smaller/taller cake. Let cool slightly before glazing.

for the glaze:
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1/2  cup of buttermilk
2-3 tbl salt

Boil the unopened can of condensed milk in a great big pot (seriously, you don't want it to be uncovered at any point in the boiling process, just us a big pot so you don't have to remember to replace water so often) for 3-4 hours.  Carefully remove and leave sitting in a cool place for at least a day before you open it to be safe. You can make a few cans of this at a time and keep them in the cupboard unopened pretty much indefinitely.  This will give you a can of very thick caramel. When it is time to glaze your cake, spoon the can into a baggie (because you do not want this mess sticking to a bowl) add the buttermilk and salt, close the bag and smoosh it around until it is well mixed.  (This cake would probably also taste good if you used bourbon as well, now that I think of it.)  Just open the baggie at the corner and pour your caramel glaze out onto your cake.

Storied Chocolate-Gran Mariner Cake

My husband has been talking about wanting a rum cake made by a colleague of his for awhile now.   A) I am only recently a baker B) the guy who makes said rum cake is using one of those kick-ass passed down several generations family secret type recipe C) Even if I *had* his recipe to follow I suck at following recipes and somehow it would be 'wrong' and not the rum cake that is being looked for sooooooo.....

Thought about what I could possibly do to change the flavors in a rum cake for days.  Read a ton of recipes for it while thinking.  Had citrus on the brain but wasn't sure which direction to go from there.  Wandered through the liquor store thinking about buying some rum to play with and spotted a bottle of Gran Mariner. Light blub!  Snagged it. Came home thinking I would so some lemon/lime based cake and soak it in the Gran Mariner, but thought about it some more and decided that was too simple and that lemon cake was already its own thing and that if I wanted to booze that up I should of gotten Limonchello.  Contemplated going back to buy Limonchello instead but realized booze is not cheap and sat on the idea some more.

Read a few more rum cake recipes. Read the wiki article about it.  Hm.. it is a holiday cake traditionally.... Somehow that made me think of those chocolate oranges that fall apart when you smack them on the counter and I had my idea. 

Idea in head, went back to reading tons of recipes for rum cakes.  Noticed a lot of them included pudding mix, and that more then a few had ground walnuts.  Went and read some pound cake recipes for good measure since I already know I can make a stable pound cake and I wanted some known grown to work from.   

Which is how I came up with this recipe for Chocolate-Gran Mariner Cake.  Just in case you were wondering where/how I get some of this random stuff from.

3 sticks room temperature butter
1 1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
5 room temperature eggs
Zest of 1 orange
8 oz almond paste
1 box (4ish oz) chocolate pudding mix
1 cup unsweetened coco powder
1 cup milk
1 1/2 cups flour
splash Gran Mariner
pinch each baking soda and salt

Preheat oven to 350.  Using a mixer, beat butter and sugars until fluffy.  Continue beating and add eggs,  one at a time.  When eggs are fully incorporated, add almond paste, orange zest, Gran Mariner, baking soda, and salt.  Once those are all mixed in, add the pudding mix, the milk, and then the coco powder.  Incorporate the flour last, so that you are not beating it too much once you have gotten that into the batter.  Pour batter into 9x12ihs baking pan and bake for 40 mins or until a toothpick put in the center comes out clean.  (You can use a bunt pan if you want to make it the same shape as a traditional rum cake, that will take longer to bake since the cake will have less surface area.) 

While the cake is baking,  make the soaking syrup:
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup water
zest of 1 orange
1 cup Gran Mariner
splash of rum as a nod to the original cake

Cook water and sugar until the sugar starts to caramelize and remove from heat.  Add orange zest, Gran Mariner, and rum and swirl to stir.  Be careful working with this in case the hot sugar decides to spit at you.

Use a pastry brush to brush the top of the still warm cake with the soaking syrup.  Let sit at least 8 hours, if not 24, brushing with more of the remaining syrup if the cake looks dry.  Serve to grownups and hide their car keys.

Chocolate Peanut-Butter Brownies

1 stick butter
2 eggs
1 cup brown sugar
1 tbl vanilla extract
1 tsp cinnamon
1/2 cup flour
1/2 cup unsweetened coco powder
1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt

1 cup 'natural' peanut-butter (if it has any ingredients other then peanuts and salt it is the wrong stuff. I prefer chunky but smooth works also)
1 egg
1/2 cup sugar

Preheat oven to 350. Melt butter and mix butter, brown sugar, and 2 eggs. Add vanilla, cinnamon, baking soda, and salt after it is well mixed. Gradually add in the coco powder and flour, stirring as you do. Mix thoroughly so there is not any lumps but do not over mix. Fold in chocolate chips and put into an 8x8 baking dish.

Melt peanut-butter in the microwave so it is a bit runny, then mix 1 egg and the sugar into it. Drop in spoonfuls over the top of the brownie batter then swirl it around a bit.

Bake at 350 for 20-25 mins depending on how cooked you like your brownies to be.

Savory Strawberry Shortcake Waffles

Bisquick
Buttermilk
Eggs
3 tbl chopped fresh rosemary
2 oranges + their zest
1 lb strawberries
1 pint creme fresh
3-4 tbl honey
 2 tbl balsamic vinegar
sugar to taste

Prepare waffle batter according to the recipe on the side of the Bisquick box, substituting buttermilk for the milk, adding 1 extra egg in place of the oil, and folding in the rosemary and zest of both oranges.

Peel oranges and chop up into supremes (ie, don't put any of the membrane of the orange into your serving bowl). Wash and cut up your strawberries as well, tossing them in with the oranges. Add the balsamic vinegar, and way less sugar then you think strawberry shortcake needs. Beat up the strawberries and oranges with a pastry cutter or potato masher to get them to release more juices. Just mix the honey into the creme fresh to make your topping.

 Make waffles according to the directions on your waffle maker. Serve the warm rosemary/orange waffles topped with the strawberry/orange mixture and a dollop of the creme fresh. This is best served warm.

Flourless Chocolate Peanutbutter Cakes

In case bananas and bacon aren't your thing and you want chocolate and pb anyway...

2 cups bittersweet or semi sweet chocolate chopped up into bits (or just use good quality chips)
1 stick unsalted butter
1 cup natural crunchy peanutbutter (ie, the stuff with no ingredients other then peanuts and salt.  The stuff with other ingredients in it acts differently when baked and throws off the sugar ratio in the cupcakes.)
2 tsp fresh grated nutmeg
3 tablespoons unsweetened coco powder
1 tablespoon salt
1 tsp baking soda
5 whole xl eggs
4 egg yolks
2 cups sugar

Preheat your oven to 350 and line your cupcake tins with liners.  This recipe makes 48 mini 2 bite cupcakes, 24 normal ones, or 12 xl ones. Use a double boiler or a pan on top of a pan and melt your chocolate, butter, and pb over simmering water until it is smooth.  Stir salt and nutmeg and coco powder into the chocolate mixture.  Beat eggs, egg yolks, and sugar in a bowl until fluffy and very light yellow in color.  Add in your baking soda, then continue to beat as your pour in chocolate/pb mixture.  Mix thouroughly and portion into cupcake liners, filling your liners about 3/4ths of the way.  Bake 10-12 mins for minis, 20-25 mins for regulars, and about 30 mins for big cupcakes.  The tops will be puffed up when they are done.  (You can pull them out a few mins early for fancy molten centers if serving immediately.)  You could frost them if you want but really, why gild the lilly?

Fat Elvis Cupcakes

This is another good use for those never eaten bananas. 

For candied bacon:
1/4  lb of thick cut bacon
1/2 to 1 cup dark brown sugar
Turn oven on to 450.  Put parchment paper on your cookie sheet (for the love of god do not skip this step unless you feel like throwing out your cookie sheet because you will NEVER get it clean otherwise) and lay bacon out on it.  Spread bacon with brown sugar and bake for 10-20 mins according to the thickness of your bacon (the package should say how long you want to cook it in the oven for) and/or until it smells done.  Remove from the oven and place on a plate (do NOT put on papertowel, it will stick and make a mess) to cool.  You can do this bit up to several days before and store it in the fridge, but if you do you want to make extra bc some will inevitably disappear.

For cupcakes:
3-4 ripe bananas
1/2 stick butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
2 eggs, separated
1 1/2 cups flour
splash of vanilla
pinch each of salt and baking soda
the candied bacon you made, chopped up into bits (I recommend using kitchen shears instead of a knife)

Preheat oven to 350 and get out some muffin tins and line them with cupcake liners.  Cream butter and sugars using an electric mixer until smooth.  Add egg yolks and vanilla and incorporate those.  Mash your banana in a separate bowl until it is very very smooth, and then mix that into the butter/sugars/egg yolks.  Mix in flour, balking soda, and salt at this time.  Take the egg whites and beat them until stiff peaks form so that you can incorporate some airyness into your cupcakes (you can skip this step if you want, but if you do your cupcakes will have a very pronounced banana bready texture instead of a cupcakey one.  If you don't care about texture just add the whole eggs in the step above.).  Fold in egg whites and candied bacon gently.  Fill your cupcake liners and bake approximately 30 mins. 

Peanut Butter Frosting
1/2 stick butter
1/2 cup peanut butter (Use the natural sort with just peanuts and maybe some salt in it. These cupcakes are already full of sugar and fat, they don't need random chemical nonsense also.. if you want that sort of thing in your baked goods you can just buy them at the store instead of making a mess of your kitchen really. Also, using sugary pb here makes for super cloyingly sweet icing instead of rich decadent icing.)
3 cups confectioners sugar
1-2 tbl milk or cream

Mix the butter and peanut butter with your beater until smooth.  Slowly incorporate the sugar and beat until it is nice and fluffy and light (about 10 mins) adding milk or cream if needed to get the texture perfect.

Make sure to let your cupcakes cool before you frost them or it will literally melt off of them and make a gooey mess.  Take to a bake sale and surprise people with your bacony genius or something as you do not want a batch of these sitting around your house!

Why Do I Buy Bananas? I Never Eat Them. Bread

Once again, I bought a bunch of bananas and once again I forgot to eat them and they are black.  This is especially distressing because I like bananas when they are so unripe they are almost green.... so they really had to sit awhile from their purchase state to get to this.  I need to resort to buying them one at a time as I want to consume them, or something >.>  Anyway, here is my tried and true banana bread recipe, with, of course, a slight twist because I can never leave anything the hell alone.

3-4 ripe bananas
1 stick butter
1/2 cup brown sugar
2-3 tbl white sugar
1 tbl maple syrup
2 eggs
pinch each baking soda and salt
splash of vanilla
liberal sprinkle of cinnamon
pinch of nutmeg
1 1/2 to 2 cups flour
1/4th to 1/2 cup walnut pieces

Preheat your oven to 350 and put away your electric mixer/beater.  You don't need it, promise.  Put the butter into a bowl big enough to mix everything in and nuke it for 30 sec to 1 min, you want it really really soft but not entirely melted.  Get out a loaf pan, dip a paper towel in the butter, and grease your pan.  Add sugars to the butter and mix well with a fork.  Squish the bananas a bit in your hands before you peel them, and dump them into the bowl one at a time, mashing them up a bit with the fork as you go.  They are allowed to have a few bigger chunks, since this recipe uses a bit more banana then some you can get away with some of it being chunks for flavor and not just acting as moisture content.  Next add the vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg, maple syrup, salt and baking soda and stir them in well.  Add the eggs one at a time, beating them in with your fork.  Then add the flour.  Start with a cup and a half and if the batter seems too thin add up to an additional half cup.  fold in your walnuts, pour it into your pan and bake 45 mins - 1 hour, until a toothpick comes out clean.  Serve with peanut-butter in place of butter for an awesome breakfast or just be boring and use butter as you see fit. Enjoy!

Dark Chocolate Cherry Bread Pudding

3/4ths of a baguette, cut and ripped into small pieces
most of a quart of heavy cream
1 16 oz bag of bittersweet chocolate morsels
1 bag dried cherries
handful of walnuts
splash of vanilla
pinch of salt
2 egg yolks
4 tbl butter
1 cup sugar
1/4th cup hennessy (or burbon or rum or whiskey or good red wine might work as well rly, or just use the rest of the cream instead if you are avoiding booze/feeding this to children)

Preheat the oven to 350.  Put the cream and the vanilla into a saucepan over medium heat.  While cream is heating up, place chocolate chips and salt and egg yolks and a splash of the liquor you are using for the sauce directly into your 8 by 8 baking dish.  When the cream is almost boiling, pour over the chocolate etc and stir until the chocolate is melted.  Put bread, most of the cherries, and the walnuts into the dish and stir, mushing the bread down until it is covered with the chocolate custard.  At this point you can let it sit for several hours (up to overnight) to soak before baking it if you think to make it ahead.  It is still delicious if you toss it directly into the oven.  Bake for 30-45 mins until the top springs back when you press it. 

Soak the remainder of the cherries in the booze (or cream) while your pudding is in the oven.  Just before serving, put the sugar, a splash of water, the booze, and butter into a small saucepan over medium heat, stirring as it starts to bubble.  You want the sugar to caramelize a bit but be careful that you don't burn it.  Add the cherries in at the end. 

You can make some sweetened whip cream to serve with this as well, but really the pudding and hard sauce is enough.  If you do not want to make a sauce for it, add about 1/2 a cup of sugar to the cream while you are heating it for the pudding, as the pudding itself will need some sugar if you are not adding a sweet sauce.  (If you don't want to mess around with hot sugar,  good cherry preserves thinned out with some water/booze/cream would be a nice sauce for this also.)

Chocolate Cherry Sour Cream Cake

This post was supposed to be a recipe for mexican chocolate lime cupcakes, but, I could not find lime curd to save my life.  Hell, even lemon curd as a last ditch replacement eluded me.  But by then I had chocolate on the brain, so I had to improvise.

2 sticks butter, softened
1 cup sugar
1 cup sour cream
4 whole eggs
pinch each of salt and balking soda
1 cup unsweetened coca powder
2 cups flour
1 jar good sour cherry preserves

for ganache:
1/2 cup heavy cream
2 cups semisweet or bittersweet chocolate chips
4 tbl cherry preserves

Cream butter and sugar until fluffy. Then add sour cream, then eggs (one at a time) continuing to beat until smooth.  Incorporate dry ingredients slowly.  Bake at 350 in a springform pan for 30-35 mins.  Take out and allow to cool before cutting it in half.  Separate cake layers and spread the bottom layer with jam before reassembling.

To make ganache, place chocolate chips into a bowl.  Heat heavy cream until almost boiling and pour over chocolate.  Work chocolate and cream together with a spatula until all of the chips melt.  Sit in the fridge for at least 30 mins so it will set up a bit, then mix in cherry preserves.  Pour ganache over the top of the reassembled cake and allow it to drip down the sides to frost it.  Serve in small slivers with whip cream, then try to send the leftovers home with other people.

Dark Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cookies

5 oz semisweet or bittersweet chocolate chips
1 cup flour
1 stick butter
3/4th cup dark brown sugar, packed
2 tbl white sugar
1 egg
1/4th cup unsweetened coco powder
1/2 a cup hazlenuts
splash vanilla extract
pinch each salt, baking soda, and cinnamon

Decide to cook chocolate chip cookies for a friend.  Realize you only have 1 stick of butter and don't have much flour in the house so, even tho you do have chocolate chips you cannot make the recipe on the bag.  Root through the cupboard to see what else you have.  Find coco powder and have a bit of inspiration, it is about the texture of flour...
Soften butter, and cream sugar into it.  Do NOT melt butter completely or the texture of the cookies may be funny.  Add the egg, vanilla, salt, baking soda, and cinnamon and stir.  Mix in the coco powder and the flour, then the nuts.  Hope that you remembered to preheat your oven to 350.
Put cookies onto a cookie sheet, and bake at 350 for about 10-13 mins.  Longer if you make giant cookies, shorter if you make dainty ones.

Pomegranate Truffles

1. Boil about 2 cups of pomegranate juice until it is reduced to 3/4ths of a cup.  You want it to be thickened and syrupy and for the flavor to be very sharp.
2. Add about 1/2 a cup of heavy whipping cream to the juice.
3. Pour juice and cream over about 12 oz of good dark chocolate (chopped up or chips) and stir to melt the chocolate.
4. Leave chocolate/cream/juice to sit in the fridge overnight to firm up.
5. Form ganache into little balls.  I like to use a small ice cream scoop type thing or 2 spoons, but you can put plastic wrap over your hands and just roll it also.
6. Let these set in the fridge for at least an hour.
7. Temper some dark chocolate with whatever your favorite tempering method is.  Quickly and carefully dip each ball into the chocolate and put on parchment paper to rest and set.  Add a few pomegranate seeds to the top of each truffle to garnish before chocolate sets if desired.

bacon brittle

3 slices thick bacon (make 4 to have extra for yourself/sharks)
1 tbl butter
1/2 tsp baking soda
2 cups demetra sugar (the good brown stuff) or 2 cups white sugar + a few tbl real maple syrup
about 1/4th cup water + a cold glass of water

cook bacon. reserve 2tbl fat from it. break it into little bits. put said bits onto a small cookie sheet (such as one from a toaster oven). put aside. have butter and baking soda measured out.

place sugar and water (and maple syrup if needed) into a pan over lowish heat (if you turn it too high it could boil over, be careful). swirl pan around to combine and keep it moving over the heat as it cooks. you want the water to cook out and the sugar to be around 375-385 degrees. you can flick little bits of it into the reserved glass of water to check the temp if you don't have a candy thermometer, you want it to form threads in the water.

when it is the right temp, remove from heat and quickly add baking soda, butter, and bacon grease. stir/swirl to melt butter and combine. pour over bacon, trying not to mess with it too much in the process because you want it to be a bit airy. let set, sprinkling a bit of sea salt on top if you want it saltier. crack into little bits and try to feed to other people so you do not eat the whole pan.

nutella mousse with salted hazlenut brittle and strawberries

mousse:
1 cup heavy whipping cream
1/2 cup nutella (can increase both if you want to make more, just use 1 part nutella to 2 parts whip cream)
put both into a mixing bowl and whip with a beater (do not try to do this with a whisk, your arm will fall off before it is done) whip until soft peaks form. chill at least 4 hours (can be made the day ahead)

brittle:
2-3 tbl butter
1 1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup water
10 oz hazelnuts
few tablespoons kosher salt
pinch baking soda

if hazelnuts are raw you need to toast them first. cut them up a bit and put them into a pan over medium heat, shaking until your kitchen smells like hazelnuts - your nose will know when they are done. if they are pre-toasted you can skip this step. turn off heat for a moment and add sugar, water, and 1 tbl of the salt. turn heat back on to medium. stir with a non stick implement (i like a silicone spatula) until all of the water cooks off and your candy had a medium brown color. be careful, it should not spit but if it does it will HURT if it hits you. (liquid sugar napalm ftl). remove from heat and quickly stir in baking soda and butter. pour onto a silicone baking sheet (or a normal cookie sheet lined with parchment paper. do not pour directly onto a surface it can stick on!) and spread out evenly. put pan in the sink/water immediately! leave candy to set for up to 1 hr, then break into shards and store in an airtight container. can be made up to a week in advance.

to bring it together:
serve in pretty little glass dishes: shot glasses, ramikins, or small rocks glasses work depending on how many guests/how much you want to serve them/what you have on hand. put a layer of sliced strawberries in the bottom of the glass and top it with the mousse. slice one strawberry per serving up into a cute fan and put that on top, and stick a shard or 2 of the salted brittle out of the glass. serve and collect your accolades.

Almond Raspberry Palmer Cookies

I came up with this the first time I bought marzipan to play with.  It is vaguely better then just eating the marzipan out of the container, and very much more impressive to serve to other people. The effort to effect ratio on this one is awesome.

1 package puff pastry (left on counter to thaw abt 40 mins)
1 package marzipan
8 tablespoons raspberry preserves (could use some other flavor as well if you like)
2 tablespoons amaretto
several tablespoons sugar

Thin our the preserves with the amaretto, so it will spread more easily.
Roll out each piece of puff pastry flat (don't crush it, just get rid of the fold marks from the packaging)
Separate the marzipan into 2 pieces, roll each out flattish to the same length as the longer dimension on the puff pastry.
Put marzipan in the middle of the puff pastry, lengthwise.
Cover puff pastry with preserves/amaretto mixture
Fold the puff pastry in from the edges in sections. It should roll over twice from each edge before it meets in the middle.
Fold it up from the middle, making a vaguely cylindrical roll.
Repeat with 2nd piece. And then put both into the freezer for 10 mins or so to make them easier to cut.
Preheat oven to 400. Cut each roll into 1/4 to 1/2 inch thick slices, and spread them out on the cookie sheet. They will be vaguely heart shaped.
(You can wrap one roll and save it for later in the freezer before cutting it up)
Sprinkle sugar over the cut cookies so the tops crisp up.
Bake 10-12 mins.
Remove from cookie sheet IMMEDIATELY and put on a plate to cool, or they will stick and crumble when you try to take them off.

Elvis Bread

1/2 cup butter
1/3rd cup peanut butter
2 ripe bananas, mashed
1/4th cup apple sauce (unsweetened!) (or use 3 bananas and leave this out)
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup brown sugar
bit of salt and baking powder
2 eggs
2 cups flour
1 cup salted roasted peanuts

Preheat oven to 350 (or w/e your standard cookie/bread temp is if you use the other scale for measuring such).
Mix butter, sugars, and peanut butter together. can soften butter and peanut butter in the microwave to make this easier.
Add eggs, banana, applesauce and mix well.
Add dry ingredients. Except peanuts. Add peanuts once the rest is mixed.
Put into loaf pans and bake for 40-60 mins depending on your oven.

Candied Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies

Ingredients:
1 bag GOOD chocolate chips, semi sweet or bitter sweet. Milk chocolate won't stand up to this
whatever the cookie recipe on the back of the bag calls for, minus the optional nuts
1 lb thick cut bacon, preferably applewood smoked and/or uncured if you can find it
cup or so brown sugar.

Prep bacon:
Lay a piece of parchment paper out on a cookie sheet, or just use a disposable cookie sheet in the first place. Do not skip this step with a cookie sheet you want to keep.
Turn oven on to 400.
Lay bacon out on parchment in a single layer
Top bacon with a thin even layer of brown sugar
Bake 15 - 20 mins, if you smell burning pull it out fast
Let bacon rest on a plate until cool (do not put on papertowel as normal bacon, or it will stick and you will be spending time picking towel off of your precious bacon later). You can do this a day or so ahead of making the cookies if you want, it keeps well in the fridge. I would cover with foil to hide from roommates/spouses/children/vultures.

Cookies:
Qhile bacon is resting, prepare chocolate chip cookie dough according to recipe on the bag. When you get to the 'stir in walnuts' step.. chop up the bacon into little bits and stir that in instead. I recommend 50% more bacon then it calls for in nuts, which will still leave you a few leftover pieces. (Because who can cook bacon without eating some, anyway?). Bake according to directions in the recipe, again using parchment paper so they don't stick and the bottoms don't burn due to the bacon.

Note:
Do not take to a party where observant jews and or muslims will be present without a nice label for them, or you will feel rather sheepish about the fact you just fed bacon to someone who keeps kosher/halal. >.

Mango Coconut Bread Pudding

2 slices white bread, toasted
1 egg
1/4th cup sugar
2.5 tbl butter
1 mango, chopped into small pieces
2 tablespoons heavy cream
3/4 cup coconut milk (canned, use the creamy bit at the top of the can)
splash vanilla extract, pinch of salt

Rip up bread and place into a mid sized muffin tin, the 2 pieces should be enough to fill 6 muffin cups, use muffin liners so that you can skip greasing the cups.
Melt butter and let it start to almost brown, then add sugar.  keep it moving but let it start to brown and caramelize a bit (hence the caramel in the title).  Add coconut milk and mango. Cook over medium heat until it is bubbling and mangos soften up.  Turn off heat, sprinkle with salt. Add vanilla, add the cream and mix that in. then whisk in the egg, going fast so that the egg can't scramble on you (or temper the egg with a bit of the mixture first if paranoid).
Spoon/pour mango custard mixture over bread bits as evenly as you can.  Cover and let cool. Refrigerate for at least a few hours, can even be over night.  Bake water bath style at 350 for 30-45 mins depending on the size of your muffin cups.

This makes 6 servings at just under 200 cals a serving. 

serves just find plain, or you can add 50 or so cals a serving with a few tablespoons of whip cream if you serve it cool or some hard sauce if you serve it hot. or maybe some caramel sauce if you want to ramp up the caramel aspect of it.